Dumb Things

Got to thinking last night about some of the various household activities that I thought would be more fun if I was drinking. And I don’t even mean parties or social occasions or nights out.
Here’s a list in order of increasing dumbass-ity:
•Reading
I actually taught myself to read an entire novel while guzzling wine.
•Knitting
I’m pretty sloppy knitter anyway so that one is kind of a wash
•Cooking
Obviously
•Dying my hair
Actually got drunk first then busted out the developer, seemed like a spiffy idea
•Playing guitar
Singing sounded reeeeal good
•Talking on the phone/texting
Any conversation lasting more than 10 minutes required several glasses
•Assembling Ikea furniture
And we have A LOT of it
•Applying grout
Yep. That’s right. If you’ve ever applied grout to wall tile you’ll know how BADLY IT SUCKS. Sure, it looks easy on HGTV but it’s actually quite tedious and physically demanding. I thought it might go easier with a bit of merlot
•Painting
Oh yah. We threw back tequila shots and painted the living room
Things I managed not to do:
•Operate any sort of powered tool (particularly saws)
•Mow lawn (blades again)
•Install electrical fixtures
•Climb up on a ladder
•Light a fire
•Ride my bike (thought briefly about it)
So yes, I did a bunch of dip – shitty things while drunk/getting drunk but at least I don’t have a death wish. YAY ME.
And likely (because some of these doings are a bit bizarre–I mean, drunken DIY?? WHO DOES THAT??) I’ll never miss the alcohol when I do them again. Sure,  you may want a delicious adult beverage while you’re at a dinner party but it’s not like I’ll be caulking around the window and go, “Geez, this would go so much better with a nice Chianti” or possibly, “Say! This sweater is going really well, perhaps I’ll just shake up a Cosmopolitan and bind off!”
I’m pretty sure I was trying to be “normal” instead of feeling like I was too wasted to do anything but stare at a screen.  Drunk? Nope! Not me, my friend.  Look at how PRODUCTIVE I AM.
We’ll anyhoo,  that’s my super lame list. Plenty of paint left out in the garage for me to redeem myself.
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