HAWT and Other Sober People Who I Happen To Know

It’s very hot here. Haaaaaawt. It’s seriously cutting into patio-time hence the no-posting. I hate to whine about it, really. In February I start whining about not having seen the sun for 6 months and I dream of summer. And now it’s all over me. I read an article about how Europeans view Americans with disdain over our love of the A/C. The article was written by a person who lives in Washington DC where it is NOT currently 104. The article also concedes, “Of course, Northern Europe is still colder than most regions within the United States and some countries, such as Italy or Spain, have recently seen an increase in air-conditioning. “The U.S. is somewhat unusual in being a wealthy nation much of whose population lives in very warm, humid regions,”‘ Well, thank ya for that.

For reference, here’s a current weather map of tomorrow’s forecast:

That’s a 91 in SEATTLE. I’ve never even visited Seattle when it was over 70. Also, they don’t show temps for Northern California, which has been in triple digits all week. AND THEY HAVE NO WATER. (see pee-water drought solution at bottom).

First of all, out of curiosity, I pose to Europeans: IS THIS TRUE?? ARE YOU TALKING SHIT ABOUT MY A/C?? (You’re obviously not, US Journalism propaganda…right??) Second of all, there really IS too much A/C (not in my home obviously, it’s a lovely 74) but in every public space. Walk from the car into the grocery store and the temperature drops 35 degrees. Now, I like to shop in comfort, but I literally bring a hoodie with me in the summer in order to enter the Taco Bell. The comments on the article (all by outraged Americans– we loves us some outrage. ‘Merica!) are hilarious and not very nice, please consider the source (Comment Trolls and Haters).

Annnnyhoo…

So Patty show was awesome (not HAWT, it was 65 and raining..only 6 days ago! And now it’s 104…sorry, got distracted). My awesome friend C. drove us, her thinking was: if I wanted to have a glass of wine I would have a D.D. Alas, no D.D. needed! I told her what I had been up to (or rather NOT up to) and it was amazing: suddenly here we were, two close friends who were sober at the same time- in the SAME CAR.

So asked her to tell me her story, and she did. And I think this has made us closer than we’ve been in a long time. (We bonded originally over divorce, haha!) I’m not going to tell her story because I’m going to ask her to do it (guest blogger!) and hopefully she will. She’s smart and funny and a dramatic southern lady, should be a hoot.

I have thought about wine recently, wine-y little thoughts, creeping through the vineyards of my mind. I daydream about that “one-glass” urban legend, how nice it would be! But no, I seriously don’t think one will do me at this point. I guess this might be a good point to start deciding what my sobriety is about– am I off the sauce forever? Am I trying to return to normal alcohol enjoyment? What is my goal? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich???

*back sweat…ewe*

Here’s something interesting- my friend in California (which, as you probably know, is in a HUMONGOUS drought right now) has not been watering her really-nice lawn because she’s not allowed to water it enough to keep it green. So her husband is picking up a 300 gallon vat of recycled toilet water (Turds-to-Turf, if you will.) She said it comes with a sign that identifies that the lovely lush pee-lawn has been watered with recycled H20, so her neighbors don’t turn her in to the water police. Desperate times, desperate measures.

I’ll leave you with that thought.

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10 thoughts on “HAWT and Other Sober People Who I Happen To Know

  1. back sweat – hahahaha! ugh, nothing worse- although in-between boob sweat comes a close second 🙂 Drought really is such a massive problem, not only for gardens and people but for animals, bees, birds etc. I hope you get some rain soon! Ummmm… some people have a problem with A/C? listen buddy, when you’re sweating bullets just sitting on your sofa and sticking to your sheets at night ,don’t tell me you wouldn’t be turning it on! I don’t have it in the houseI currently live in and it gets stinking hot summer, I mean, the fridge starts groaning it gets that bad. If I had A/C, I’d not only be using it, I’m pretty sure I’d be sitting on top of it 🙂 So glad you enjoyed Patty and had a lovely bonding moment with your friend too. Sounds like a great night x

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  2. Have the requisite boob sweat as well! Are you in a hot zone too?? No worries, we’ll get it in the fall..and the winter..and the spring. There’s a reason this place is so STINKING GREEN and has an inordinate number of gigantic trees.

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    1. I hate the boob sweat and I become irrationally jealous of any woman who either a. doesn’t have to wear a bra or b. can wear a nice little cotton one without under wire and scaffolding. I’m not in the hawt zone right now, it’s winter here and c…c…cold. Currently 11 degrees and it’s lunchtime! (that’s 51.8 Fahrenheit for you) Mind you, are summers are hot, hot, hot, it’s not uncommon to get 104 Fahrenheit days, day after day after day…

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      1. Hahahah! Scaffolding! I call mine an “appliance”. Once I’m in it I’m locked and loaded for the day. When I take it off I feel like I went on vacation.
        Oh, you’re down under! I just think that’s so cool you have xmas in the summer. 51 in the winter sounds awesome as well, we get down to the 30’s (1 for you) in the winter, usually while it’s raining sideways. May I ask what city that is? It’s fricking gorgeous. (message me if you like! email on my about).

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  3. We are DYING here in Seattle. DYING, I tell you! And most of us don’t even have AC, since it’s generally so mild. I am actually looking forward to the gray, dark, depression-triggering winter. Assuming I survive the 7-mile training run I have waiting for me in tomorrow’s 90+ heat, that is. Grr.

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  4. Southeast North Carolina here 😉 not only HAWT but muggy too! Like, hot wet blanket laying on top of you muggy! Love my AC, but don’t love the leaving the cool house/vehicle to walk into a freezing store or restaurant and walking back out in the heat again! I’ve been wondering why it seems like I’ve had a summer-long headache, one that isn’t beer or bourbon induced— it’s the heat and wacky temperature changes! Boob sweat here too!

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    1. Boob sweat knows no state or international boundaries! I feel for folks in the south with your humidity. My friend in TN said her makeup just slides off her face. Wtf is up with it being 60 in the walmart while it’s 100 outside? Yes, I have noticed that changes in humidity and air pressure can give me a headache too. Take care, and stay cool!!

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