Grocery Amusements and Vexing Lack of Lavender Products

I like a lavender product. I do. Anything I can get my hands on that smells vaguely of lavender, I’m buying it. I tried to grow my own lavender but the girl teen pulled it out of the ground when I asked her to do some “weeding”- actual weeds untouched. I’m not shitting you, she pulled almost every one of my herbs and completely ignored the weed forest on the hill.

So when I went to the store tonight to get fixins for my son’s 18th birthday dinner, I realized I was out of several types of detergent (get this: my HUSBAND called to tell me we were out of laundry soap. Mhmmmm. Keeper)

But alas NO LAVENDER PRODUCTS. No lavender dishwasher detergent, no lavender laundry soap. My M.O. pretty much is to buy the cheapest shit I can find that smells like lavender- nothing. I will PAY MORE if it’s smells the way I need to smell. But no. My choices for dishwasher pods were orange (gagging), lemon (really? it’s so tired) and “fresh”. What the fuck is “fresh”?? As opposed to “fish-heads” or possibly “gym socks”?? At least I can take the lid off the laundry soap and smell the Linen and Lily before I buy it. And you KNOW I do that. Shampoo too.

Another amusement: I’m buying ice cream and I’m looking for Denali Moose Tracks- because that is the SHIT. So they have three levels of Moose Tracks: the tame one with vanilla and fudge bits- just Moose Tracks, the Extreme Moose Tracks- chocolate ice cream with fudge, and the (I’m not making this up) EXTREME MAXIMUM MOOSE TRACKS. It’s like chocolate fudge ice dream with more fudge in it.  If you are ever confronted with these choices, you really must choose MAXIMUM. I’m still jacked up from it, and I didn’t really have that much. I may not sleep. On the other hand, maybe you shouldn’t. Maybe you can’t HANDLE it.

So I’m checking out with my NA beer (all they have there is the O’Douls- ANOTHER GROCERY FAIL, where’s my comment card??) and the kid who is ringing up my stuff says, (and I doubt he was old enough to drink, all these kids under 30 look like they’re my son’s age) “Is this any good??” So I said, “Yes, and it’s almost beer!” and he said, “What?” So I told him it was non-alcoholic and he said, “What’s the point?”  Without hesitating I replied, “If you like beer but don’t drink.” And he nodded thoughtfully.

So what IS the point? For me, it tastes like beer…beer that never gives you a buzz. A kinder, gentler beer, if you will. The store also has NA wine, but I’m a bit afraid of it, that I might want real wine if I drink it. So I’m sticking with the near-beer for now. I gotta say, it sure has made sobriety easier.

Speaking of which, I finally hauled all the bottles and cans off the balcony, out to the recycle bins and I was SO PROUD that almost all of them were NA’s! The ones that weren’t were from “before”, which doesn’t really highlight my housekeeping skills, does it. Eh.

Also got the sun shade up on the balcony to keep the pesky sun out of my bedroom (because NO ONE enters my bedroom uninvited).  (see Hammer Down post if you’re interested.)

So that was my day! One more day off then back to work Wednesday..sigh.


29 thoughts on “Grocery Amusements and Vexing Lack of Lavender Products

  1. Ha Ha I’ve never had a lot of luck growing lavender, however, rosemary and basil run rampant in my yard! My search for stores with ample AF beer selections has turned into a real quest. I tend to “stock up” when I find the good stuff, and I often wonder how pathetic I must look with a cart full of non-alcoholic beer…but, whatever works, huh?!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Maybe it’s a soil thing? (one of those things I know nothing about!) Because all of those things grow in the same climate, I think…hmmm.
      Oh the AF beer quest…you’d think Oregon craft/micro-brewers (of which there MANY) would have caught on to this and made delicious non-alcoholic beverages. I think the Becks is probably the most “beer-like”, but the O’Douls has only 66 calories. Which is funny, because we were drinking Miller 64 before we quit which has 2.8% alcohol (not much) but tastes less beer-like.


  2. I have lavender essential oil in my purse. It’s a nice smell.
    I’ve tried one na wine and it was horrible. And it has too many calories for me. I so much prefer coffee with real cream, or water. I’m boring.

    Hubby has a collection of NA beer, but none is gluten free. Although I can’t say I ever liked beer.

    Have a great day.


    1. OMG, I saw this on my phone and briefly thought you were drinking the essential oil!! hahaha! That would be a lot of calories:)
      I’m into my sweet tea right now, I make it southern style with real nasty sugar but it’s still less sugar than Coke (which I also love).


      1. I’ve tried EVERYTHING! Stevia is bitter to me. I’ve tried paleo type recipes using dates for sweetener, splenda, apple sauce. I’ve decided it’s just easier to eat very little and get the real thing. However, I prefer agave nectar in my coffee.


      2. I looked that up as I had not heard of it. I see that they don’t want you to eat avocados (which would be hard for me), but the rest of it is similar to the SCD (specific carb diet) I was on a few years ago, also for digestion probs. That one is no un-cultured dairy, no refined sugar, NO grains, no soy, no starches (certain beans, potatoes, corn). It was hard to do but it fixed my bloating issues.


      3. Yes. I have the SCD diet and plan to give it a real try at some point, but I am still not ready et. Maybe I never will be.

        I have celiac disease and IBS. Food is a real issue…


      4. I really think it would help, but I am a severe disordered eater. I have spent years on extreme low carb diets, that I liked, but honestly, my hair fell out and I stopped getting my period, etc.

        Sooooooo, I am inclined to take things far. Too far.

        I know the SCD diet would be helpful. Sigh. But my therapist wouldn’t like it yet. Whenever I pull out rules she frowns.


  3. I love Moose Tracks Extreme! The chocolate swirl is my favorite part. Yummmmmmm.

    My favorite NA beer is Clausthaler dry-hopped amber. It is so good. Almost IPAish.

    I saw a new (to me) sparkling mixer/soda beverage called Dry the other day. They have a lavender flavor. Might be interesting.

    Randomly yours, Wendy

    Liked by 1 person

  4. What I’ve heard… and this might be just a rumor… so I’ve heard that AF beer actually contains alcohol. Just a very tiny bit. I tried it once and I was pretty much “what’s the point?” Because I drink to get drunk. Sadly.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Hi, Wendy!! I moved my blog from blogspot to wordpress in July, is that what you mean?
        I’m glad to see you too:) I’m here to stay unless someone runs me out of town on a rail!!


    1. It actually does, TATB, it’s up to .05%, which, in the US, is the limit for a non-alcoholic beverage. I found out that the % was established during US Prohibition in the 30’s (little factoid for ya!) So I’d have to power down about 15 in an hour to get a nominal buzz.
      I, too, drank to get drunk. Wine, it was. Honestly the NA beer is just something to put in your mouth when the “drinking-hour” approaches, like a place holder for your habit. It tastes like beer. Most of us, me anyway, aren’t going to get a buzz off a single beer anyway, so you drink the NA, then maybe have another and in the interim your craving passes.


  5. I love the NA beers when I am out, or when I am hot!
    I just can’t have more than 2 because they are GASSY!!
    And I LOVE Moose Tracks, but then I love ice cream!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Lol, Betty, yes I was replying to TATB. I was so happy to see she was back!

    And Hi Wendy! I love reading your comments.

    More than 2 NA beers make me feel bloated. Funny how you notice that when the alcohol is absent. ; )


  7. Hi Betty I like your haircut ! Auracacia has lovely lavender bath gel but you could water it down and use it for dish soap !
    I’ve got some lavender in my garden but it doesn’t look well ! I think you’re right about soil because you see those pics in France or Italy of fields and fields of the stuff !

    Liked by 1 person

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