This Goes To Eleven

As promised, after being inspired by rivieradinah on her last post, I am now switching to a more statistic-y method of calculating my up-to-the-minute sobriety. So I grabbed a year as my denominator (why the fuck not? Also, if I used the actual time spent drinking we’d be into some pretty heavy decimals) and divided my sober days by it. 23%! That is not enough to pass any exam for any license, certification, or diploma, anywhere on the planet (I’m just guessing here, maybe some countries have really low standards?? Oh but it’s a good score to get on the Psychopath Test!!) but it’s better than 0.00%–triple goose-eggs, people.

So I guess 100% is what I’m going for here. And that’s a thing. Those of you aiming for 100 days are going for 27% (if you are using my lazy math). So I’m almost there, but when I look at it scientifically (it’s obviously very precise) it doesn’t seem like that much. I want to bust the top off the thermometer drawn on the poster board with Magic Markers. I want my needle spiking in the RED. I want GO TO ELEVEN.

So that’s what I decided, literally, just now. Sitting on my patio, getting a little maudlin at the thought of giving up my stinkies next Tuesday. Why not? Already did the hard part.


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