Not booze, no worries, I’m done with that shit. On Tuesday, Sept 1, I am quitting smoking.
My first few sober days were virtually smokeless as I mostly avoided the “scene of the crime”, ei, my balcony. I figured, why would want to smoke while I’m not drinking? After all, drinking is what started me smoking again. But alas, I found comfort in the little cancerous devils as I struggled with dissipating my other habit.
So now that “the big one” is out of the way, I shall tackle this smaller one.
I have done this before, and it was weirdly easy. Because I flipped my head around to see that it was a gift and not a curse. I’m not sure how easy it will be this time but why does everything need to be easy? Some things are a challenge, and I like a challenge. I mean challenge like, “Oh, you think I can’t?? Fuh-Q!” The Tobacco Industrial Complex wants you to believe that quitting is SO HARD TO DO, harder than quitting heroin (what a bunch of crap). Who came up with that shit? I believe that’s why the tobacco industry sponsors quit-smoking programs, to make you think that the only way to do it is with nicotine replacements and medical intervention. But that’s bullshit. There are no physical withdrawal symptoms from smoking other than your stupid lizard brain telling you “we need this!!” I know this for a fact.
I’m smoking right now, by the way. Oh yes, that’s why it’s taking me so long to type. I bought 2 packs last night for the weekend because, like drinking, there’s no way to moderate. You smoke or you don’t. You drink or you don’t. You’re pregnant or you’re not. It’s a 1 or a 0, no in-betweens here. (I’m not pregnant, so no risk to hypothetical baby.)
It is obvious to me that I have replaced drinking with smoking, another thing I do on my balcony. I’m spending far too much time NOT GETTING SHIT DONE. It stinks. I stink. I’m tired of stinking. I’m tired of coughing.I look old as hell. It has to go. Frankly, I’m relieved. I feel like I’m getting out of prison in a few days.
What’s in my quit kit?? Good question! I did briefly consider a patch, but I feel like that’s just drawing it out. So as I was surfing Amazon last night, I came across several referenced to lobelia, which apparently reduces your cravings. I also have kava and valerian root, and many other relaxing teas. I’ve had a long history with herbs (at one point I was quite the witch doctor) so I’m not afraid of foul tasting beverages. What could be more disgusting than a cigarette? Mostly I’m going to just suck it up. Worked with the wine (actually, not-sucking-it-up was the trick for the wine- haha!)