An Open Can of F$%#? Or An OPPORTUNITY To Excel??

My boss tells me that a lot, when he’s about to hand me a shit-job: I have an opportunity for you to excel. In that vain I give you:

My timing is SPOT ON. I mean to quit drinking, this could not be a better time. Things are RAMPING UP around here! It’s all HAPPENING:

  • My rental home: Gave tenants notice in May that I will be selling the home this year, they have finally located another rental and will be moving out end of September. There will be a LAUNDRY LIST of tasks to complete (and WTF is a “laundry list” anyway? Soap, check. Fabric sheets, check. Not much of a list…) before it can be sold. And sold it must be as will have two mortgages until that time. TICK TICK!!!
  • My step-daughter and her Russian husband are coming to live with us. It’s good. We invited them since their lodgings and job search in NC were not working out for them. BUT, now there will be four adults and and one mini-adult in this house. We’ve had the house to ourselves all summer what with my son moving out and my daughter whizzing about in her car and going to Europe and working. This puts an abrupt end to “naked Sundays” and eating on our laps in front of the TV. They will be here tomorrow night.
  • My daughter is starting school again in a week, so school shopping, endless things to sign, checks to be written.
  • My gutters did not get properly cleaned last time, the ones on the “high” side of the house which are apparently generally avoided by the roofing professionals I tend to hire. Torrential rain was gushing out of them this morning.
  • I am starting my classes for my license again at the end of the month.
  • I have a laundry back-log. You read correctly, “back-log”. As it turns out, there is an upward limit of how many laundry receptacles one should actually possess. Okay, now I get the “laundry list” idiom.

So, you’re probably thinking, “Say, looks like you got yourself an open can of fuck, there!”  and you would be correct.

BUT!! I am ready for ALL OF THIS (I keep telling myself that, it’s literally a chant right now). But I am. Because this is my life, this is what it’s like to be me. I was just telling the spouse this, that it’s good thing we’re sober now and have the capacity to deal with the intensity of the next 4-6 months. And he said, Yah, it’s been eeeeasy livin’. Indeed it has.

So as I get ready to flex my omni-directional organizational muscle, I realize that I am not concerned that the potential stress of these happenings will make me relapse. Who  It doesn’t seem like I’m headed over a cliff, but rather tick-tick-ticking up the track of a roller coaster which WILL DROP ME but only so I can gain momentum to make it through all the turns and crazy loops. Or fly off into the cheesecake-on-a-stick stand on the midway and crush unwary onlookers. Either way, I’ll be screaming. Hahaha! But just silently, in my head like.


11 thoughts on “An Open Can of F$%#? Or An OPPORTUNITY To Excel??

  1. You will be a busy lady, that’s for sure!
    And yes, if I had people moving in here, we would have to change some of our naked habits, too!
    Just saying.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Millie said what I was going to! lol I am amazed at all the shit I could do back then when my life was completely unmanageable because of drinking and now that I’m sober I’m damn near unstoppable. In a good way, not a “Heath Ledger’s Joker blowing up a hospital” way. LOL

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I hope everything is going well. It sounds like you have a lot on the plate that you wish was in your lap instead of on the table! 🙂 This makes me laugh because I have two young kids (3 + 6) and we have to force ourselves to eat like proper people at the table, just for them. We should probably move to India or another culture where sharing from the same pot and eating on the floor is acceptable. And now I’ve aired my dirty laundry.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Ooh, I think you could work that into a “cultural learning program”- set up some pillows around a coffee table and tell the kids “we’re going Moroccan tonight!” And they’ll be all, but we’re eating mini-corndogs!

      Liked by 1 person

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