Hello from the Oregon Outback! I am traveling this week for work and find myself in a so-so hotel with a dead bug in the tub and no ice (for me, not the bug).
Went out to dinner with colleague and she ordered wine because APPARENTLY THAT’S WHAT PEOPLE DRINK. I wouldn’t know because I have not been near anyone who was drinking alcohol since I quit, mostly because I am a hermit. But largely because everyone in my house is sober,too.
So I haven’t smelled it since the last time I drank it. OMG! It just hit my nose, I wasn’t expecting it. And I while I didn’t think it smelled particularly good, it certainly smelled familiar. And then I thought, well, look at her, enjoying her one little glass of wine over there, just sipping away. I could be doing that, I could be enjoying that…but then I was like YEAH, RIGHT!!!
I could maybe get away with that tonight, but then I’d get home Thursday, stop at the store, pick up a bottle, might as well grab a pack of smokes while I’m at it.
It’s just a tiny stray thought but that’s enough to bring me down. One little glass probably would have undone my entire sober summer, 4 1/2 months. UNDONE. Like it never happened.
Not worth it. Not remotely. It’s just wine. It’s not fucking ambrosia.
I’m in my hotel bed with my tea, hoping the tub-bug’s cousins are not close by.