That’s What De-Friends Are Forrr…

This post may show up twice– I just published it and it disappeared. WP totally LIED TO ME.

I have done something I only do in the most DIRE of situations, when there is literally NO OTHER COURSE OF ACTION AVAILABLE: I de-friended someone on facebook. I enjoyed it so much! I haven’t enjoyed the de-friend-zy this much since Burger King was giving you a free whopper for axing them ( I think you had to do 40?? I didn’t get the whopper, I got distracted by cat pictures.)

BUT ANYWAYYY… back to the de-friending. That I just did. I spoke about work drama, I think about a month ago. This directly relates to it and the de-friendee is the purveyer of this fine dramatic production. Simply put: I. Have. Had. Enough. Of the bullshit (typing a period between each word is exhausting).

Basically, this person (let’s call her Andrea) had a personal conviction about something I should be doing, I disagreed and choose another perfectly suitable professional path. She argued for it, I listened and still declined. She threatened. She manipulated. Basically, she went batshit crazy. In an email. THAT I CAN SHOW PEOPLE. Way to cover your ass!

Today, I had a meeting with my managers about the situation (which had been blown ridiculously out of proportion with reality). So I took the opportunity and reported the hostility, bullying and defaming to my managers (translation: I went off like a fricking firecracker), explained that Andrea’s harassment was causing me stress and to lose sleep, was able to convey the legitimacy of my behavior and my decision.

And I ended the friendship. With friend’s like that, who needs enemas? Am I right??

I’m not one of those people who says, “I’m not talking to you anymore!” I’m just not talking. It’s over. Obviously this is difficult with a co-worker, but the truth is Andrea and I don’t actually work together very often. I can be INCREDIBLY CIVIL. Coldly civil.

I am not vindictive. You have to work really, really hard to make me hate you. If I’m wrong I’m going to tell you I was wrong and try not to do it again, because my friendships are more important to me than my pride.

There is a boundary of respect that once crossed can never be retreated from.

In other words, there is just some shit I will not eat.

I’m still angry. But the de-friending was incredibly helpful. There was a very small block of time that I really wished I had a cig. Other than that, I’m feeling oh-so-good about dealing with all of this clean and serene, baby.

I told my husband. I texted a friend. I ate Chinese food. I watched several back to back episodes of Married at First Sight. I read blogs. I drank ginger ale.

I did not drink. I’m not going to. Fuck yah.


18 thoughts on “That’s What De-Friends Are Forrr…

  1. I’ve defriended very few people on social media. In fact only two really seriously – 1. my daughter’s ex when he dumped her on Boxing Day via a text message! She was so well rid of that numpty trust me. 2. an old colleague. Someone who knows I had a battle with the booze and I’d have expected to have some respect for my sobriety. Too many daft comments – the final one saying he’d raise a glass of beer in celebration of my 10th sober anniversary. He had to go frankly after that one. I felt bad about it but in the end, peace of my mind and it was comments on my posts that caused me to sigh, be disgruntled etc. My space so I surely can reserve the right to who can and cannot comment on there – he stepped over the line too far too many times in the end.

    Now… I have no current colleagues as friends on Facebook. They are not friends they are colleagues. My friends are those that know me, who really get me – colleagues are nice people I work with…. full stop (oh sorry period – cultural differences and all that… 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Fuck yeah! Chinese food and ginger ale! A meal of champions.

    I hat conflict too. Knowing you have stood up for yourself must feel very self affirming. I love it. Ha ha

    For my zen Anne comment- not you have a perfect person to metta meditation too. Because we all know Andrea really just needs more love. From afar.


    Liked by 1 person

  3. Proud of you. I de-friended quite a few people. And not just that. I blocked them. It was amazingly satisfying. We have control over who we want in our life as friends. We should use that control to better our lives. By the way, I never ever friend anyone who works with me.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Enormously proud of you ….. well done 😀😀😀
    I only ever really de friended in the past when it was to protect me from snoopers when I split up with my ex as they made my life unbearable, then some came back into our lives. But as you say bland is best

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Good for you for giving this aggressive overly dramatic person the boot, who I shall now call Bandrea! I bet it feels good to cleanse yourself of her – she’d have to be delusional to expect anything else. Sounds like she has quite a few issues of her own and it’s unfortunate that you have to work for the same company but she has created a rod for her own back and I’m sure her attitude will be closely watched from now on. None of us need toxic people in our world – bye bye biatch! x

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I’d be more than happy to sit her down and give her a talking too but I’m sure she’ll create her own karmic mess quite well all on her own.

        Liked by 1 person

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