So I was watching a movie last night and my spouse comes in and immediately begins looking for his beer (and when I say “beer” in the context of spouse or I drinking one, I of course mean “NA beer”) and he finally locates it then asks me if I want it and I’m like, yah, beer me! And he hands it to me and gets another one for himself (and that’s how he rolls, and this is why I keep him.)
ANYWAYYY, I open the suuuuper cold beer and take a few chugs and it probably took me about 30 minutes to finish it (which NEVER would have happened with a real beer) and I was thinking: this is how I would love be able to drink. As if actual wine or beer were NA and I would only drink them because they taste good or go nicely with my dinner. And I would only want one or at the most two because I really wouldn’t need any more than that to accomplish my goal of enjoying a delicious beverage.
Because who drinks like six Cokes in a row unless the Coke has rum in it, right?? You wouldn’t drink 6 or more of any NA beverage in a row because you’d be like HOLY FUCK, AM I SICK OF DRINKING THIS NOW. I’LL JUST STOP IT. AND I SURE HAVE TO PEE.
And then I could enjoy a variety of beverages because I’d be drinking them for sake of the drink and not the drunk.
What do you think….
Wouldn’t that be nice?????
Sure, and then the FUCKING UNICORNS WILL ARRIVE IN A CLOUD OF MAGIC SPARKLE DUST.
Because that shit is never going to happen. Hahahah! Not for me anyway. I guess that’s what it’s like to be a “normal drinker.” *sigh* Must be nice. Let’s have a quick pity party about it, shall we? Playing the world’s tiniest violin and all…
Okay, back to what you were doing. 😉
And also I wish all you folks a super happy new year and I hope the unicorn brings you much sparkle dust (of the NA variety, obviously.)