On The Road Again

Fairly certain this is Mt. Jefferson…

I hope this title has set off a very determined Willie Nelson ear-worm in your head so you can join me in hell. Ok, herewego…

Once again,  it’s the end-of-the-week wrap up!! I’m back in town after two back-to-back work trips. The highlight of these journeys were that I was able take some PRETTY NICE photographs on the way to/from and in town. I’ll be posting on The Rain In The Trees this weekend, so if you like gorgeous snow-covered mountains, you’ll probably like this shit.

WORK:

Not bad, busted my hump the last two weeks and that is only reason I haven’t ballooned up like a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day balloon float (see eating below). There was one afternoon where I had to crawl under a raised floor and it was so dirty down there I refused to get on my knees so I fucking DUCK WALKED back and forth down there. My thigh muscles got so hot I swear there was smoke….the UNHOLY BURRRRN. Anyhoo, the next day they were ROCK HARD and I was all YEAHHHH, and felt like I had just bounced out of a step aerobics class. So yah, perks and all.

EATING:

If only I could employ someone to follow me around and knock high calorie food out of my hands!! (I’m accepting applications for this job, BTW: it doesn’t pay much but you can eat whatever you can keep from entering my face.) So I’ve gained a few pounds from eating chocolate in alone my hotel room and from eating at out-of-town restaurants. I had a hard time verifying this fact as the cleaners accidentally flipped my scale to KGs and I was like 69?? Right on, diet’s working! Haven’t been this thin since 1st grade! Which brings me to:

CLEANING:

Last week, for the first time in my life, I paid someone to clean my house. My husband was completely horrified at the concept but changed his tune after experiencing the HOUSE-WIDE OMNI-DIRECTIONAL CLEANLINESS. I walked around like Anthony Molchiorri on Hotel Impossible looking for what they missed and it wasn’t much. It’s making us more aware of keeping everything tidy…some of us anyway. The teen is still brazenly leaving her little teen subversive dishes in my gleaming white sink. I texted her this morning:

Said bowl was washed but three glasses, 2 plates and a pot full of baked beans showed up in its place. The child is NOT right.

HAVEN’T PULLED ANYONE ELSE ONTO THE WAGON YET BUT NOT FOR LACK OF TRYING:

I had discussion about drinking (or rather my lack thereof) with co-workers as they sipped margaritas at the Mexican restaurant. One of them asked me if I was going to drink again and I told him NO CAN DO, BRO and I explained why. And he was like, wow, that’s weird. He sipped his margarita and that was it for him. I’m not sure how that works when you quit HALFWAY TO A FUCKING BUZZ, but I’m guessing that’s why he can drink and I can’t. Which I explained to him. Also schooled co-workers (both single) on proper dating tactics. I practically had a TED Talk right there in the Mazatlan.

VD:

Not sure what I’m doing, I already ate enough chocolate for 10 ladies during the last 2 weeks. Rather than spend money on food I don’t need I decided to go buy shoes I don’t need. Spouse will be thrilled when he sees what he got me!

DAYS:

I haven’t been actively counting but my sober app says 256 days. Admittedly, I did slip in a few drinks here and there the first few months, maybe 4 beers total, but I didn’t really enjoy any of it so I decided to buck the trend and keep counting (since I never got intoxicated and returned to pious goodness immediately after.) So that’s 8 months as of Feb 1. This time last year I was gearing up to quit again, having missed my Jan 1 deadline. I was probably feeling PRETTY PISSED OFF ABOUT IT too, that it was FUCKED UP that I had to quit, and also that it was NOT FAIR and REALLY HARD. An orchestra of tiny violins was ramping up for me. I was probably quite tedious.

If you’re currently like I was last February, don’t worry. Because your time is coming and you’re almost ready. Maybe you’ll try quitting and fail a few times. NO BIG. Maybe it will take dozens of starts and stops to get your momentum. NOT A PROBLEM. I like to point out that any amount of time you spent sober, even if you eventually drank is still some pretty good moderation and you’ll be better off having experienced it.

So, Sober Blog Citizens: Tell me what’s happening for Valentine’s Day in your corner of the world!