Good Times, Where Art Thou??

Happy Sunday morning, sober citizens!

I haven’t posted in a while because I’m a lazy shit. I have been out and about on your blogs however, because it’s not like I can keep my virtual mouth shut for very long.

I finally finished the second bottle of fake wine (Fre) that I bought several weeks ago on whim because it just sounded good and it’s hard to find the merlot variety. Turns out, non-alcoholic wine DOES NOT GO BAD like actual wine, and I noticed no degradation in it’s sour grape juice taste. It’s actually not that bad..I mean, I DRANK IT, RIGHT? And it wasn’t because I wanted buzz so….

Last night we made pizzas in my nearly completed kitchen. I was OBSESSED with these fucking pizzas all day– they were going to happen. And they were fantastic. Holy shit. They were a thin crust variety, I polled several online recipes until I found one from a website that had a vaguely Italian name and contained the word “cucina” which instills a sense of authority where pizza making is concerned. Anyhoo it made two 12″ thin crusts which the spouse and I each crafted for ourselves using my amazing homemade pizza sauce (hope you’ll pardon the horn-tootlage here, I made it with my sauce I canned last fall, it was just REALLY GOOD). Combined with our new non-stick pizza pans (purchased at the premium grocery store price of $4.50 each) they were probably the best pizzas we’ve had for a long time.

So that was fun. Like really fun, and it was just me and the spouse. I read everyone’s blog (SO MANY AND YES I READ THEM ALL)  and I can see that some of you are struggling with whether or not you will have/be fun after you’ve completely cut alcohol out of your life. I am here to tell you that you haven’t even imagined the vast variety of things that will bring you pleasure. But I’d like you to try it- imagining, that is. Because the amazing thing about sobriety -that is a little bit like magic- is that as soon as you think it you can do it.

WRAP YOUR MIND AROUND THAT FOR A MINUTE.

You conceive it, and then you go make it happen. Because you are no longer bound by the inaction forced on you by drinking: physical (drunk/hungover), mental (I don’t feel like it/can’t do it because *insert excuse*), financial (spending $400-$500/mo on booze/cigs/junk food), spiritual (I don’t deserve this).

When I discovered this it was absolutely life changing. I’d be thinking, I’d really like take a photography class…and then I realized, HEY! I CAN TOTALLY DO THAT IF I WANT TO. I can redecorate my spare room into my sewing room, I can buy paint and USE IT, I can install bookcases, ride my bike, cook pizza, study for certifications, etc. And enjoy doing it AT THE SAME TIME. Whoa.

Now I am not saying that we will suddenly be endowed with insane amounts of energy (hence my status as a lazy shit), or that we will, say, start getting up early on weekends or that we won’t come home after work and eat quesadillas in our bedrooms while watching HGTV (those are just generic examples, not what I do or anything, ahem..)

But for example:

One of things I did recently as a direct result of my (our, actually- mine and my husband’s) sobriety is visiting a financial adviser about retirement. That is a scary thing that I was not ever going to think about when I was drinking. If you haven’t done this already, I will tell you it is EYE-OPENING and SHOCKING when the adviser spins the computer monitor around to show you nifty graph featuring the GIANT RED MOUNTAIN of unfunded retirement, ei: where you run out of money when you’re 70. Yeeeeee. Since I plan on making it to approximately 105, this is an issue.

I did not want to deal with this before. I was declining this particular item on the MENU OF LIFE- ummm, no thank you! No responsibility for me today, I couldn’t eat another bite- CHECK!!! Because this information requires two things I was completely incapable of while drinking: action and change.Neither of those things were going to happen before I chose sobriety. They COULD NOT HAVE. Picture yourself DRUNKENLY INNOVATING.

How did that go??

But I’m ready for both of those things now. BRING THAT SHIT ON. You  know, but gently. But bring it. Honestly, the money we are not spending on drinking/smoking will almost cover the cost of funding an IRA. And it’s okay!! We’re capable of managing this shit. We had a long discussion about whether or not to renew the Costco membership (you know, Costco, where a bag of cat food turns inexplicably into a new gas grill, a set of matching garden hoses, a gazebo and somehow a duck blind…and we don’t HUNT…????)

I know, I know…I was talking about *fun* and planning for retirement isn’t exactly a BARREL OF MONKEYS (which probably also isn’t fun, vis-à-vis monkey poop, etc)  but hopefully you’ll catch my drift, Man.

You will have/be fun. Unless you’re just a total drag. Hahahah! But barring that, the fun train is leaving the station (or pulling in to the station, or whatever metaphor ACTUALLY ILLUSTRATES MY POINT.)

So I have one day of my weekend left, and I’ll be spending it painting my sewing room with what is (hopefully) the perfect shade of aqua (but may actually turn out to be horrifying powder blue). If you are interested in the results, I’ll be posting on Hammer Down.

Hope you all find some good times this week:)

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24 thoughts on “Good Times, Where Art Thou??

  1. I really need to try that Fre wine! I’ve heard good things. Isn’t it funny how we don’t drink the whole bottle in one go when it’s alcohol free 😉

    Totally get the ‘envision it and it will happen’ attitude towards fun. Having a good attitude is pretty powerful! Lately though I’ve found it can feel like I’m not being 100% true to myself. Almost like I’m tricking myself into being happy and it just doesn’t sit well with me because I so badly want it to be genuine unprompted happiness. I guess it could be a case of fake it till you make it though! 🙂 I started a photography class a couple of weeks ago, so that’s something! xx

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Yah, I don’t know if you can force happy. Or manifest it:) This is probably bugging the piss out of you to keep hearing but: give it a bit more time. Also, I feel like it’s time for you to put out another beautiful mocktail post!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haha nah, it’s not bugging me. I need it drilled into me! Patience is not a quality I possess.

        Omg the mocktails 😡 I did a beautiful one (chocolate, strawberry, basil) and the photos came out amazingly, but it literally tasted of poo so I had to scrap it. 😡😡😡

        I’m thinking pineapple/jalapeño for my next… it better bloody taste good!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. this is great news for me, since i am actually a Sloth at heart(: i need to paint my bathroom, but i’m tired and…a Big Fat Sloth. so maybe i can get some inspiration from your hammer blog (fingers crossed for aqua lol) i’m still sticking my head in the sand about that retirement thing… :/

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I know. Me too. I didn’t end up painting today because of getting up so late and running errands. I did go to the gym and clean out my junk drawer:) Yes, do check out HD- I have many small easy projects for sloths like us:)

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  3. Hahaha! Thanks for the uplifting post. It’s tough being down here in the tall grass trying to make a path in a new life of sobriety and I need those who have been through it to lift me up every once in awhile and show me that it does indeed get better over there where you are! It just takes time, I know that. I need to hear that and I need to hear that it’s worth it. Thank you for the reminder! Here’s to day 28! Your pizza sounds amazing and I now want to make pizza. Even though I have bolognese made and lasagne noodles pre cooked for tomorrow’s dinner already. No, I’m not type A. Shut the fuck up! 😂

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    1. Well it does, and not even very much time. I started (or rather stopped) 9 months ago, not even a year and it feels like forever. I think the thing is to embrace it and love on it, rather than fighting it. The hardest part (once the initial craving phase is over) is accepting that this is your life, and you cannot go back to the old one. (I know, that’s all, right??)
      Pizza helps:) However your lasagne bolognese sounds lovely as well. Cheers to day 28!!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I usually do as well, but I felt VERY STRONGLY about making my own crust that night. Hahah! I was totally worth it. In the same way that I think it’s worth the extra hour to cook dried beans as opposed to canned. However, I am thinking about pre-making and then freezing the crusts for a pizza-on-the-fly!

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  4. I personally avoid the alcohol free stuff. In my mad last year of drinking more than one period of “dryness” was with me drinking gallons of non-alcohol beer which eventually didn’t have any point to it so I ended up changing my order at the bar to a real beer and the merry-go-round started again. So for me I steer well clear of that stuff.

    Retirement – *pause for several minutes until I come back from my roaring laugh with red cheeks and wiping tears out of my eyes”… Years ago I employed a guy to plan for me to retire in my early to mid 50s. I was earning a bucket in those days – sadly spending too much on drink but… He advised me to plough my investment portfolio in to this and that and the other. I did it all safe in the knowledge that this was the solution to all my life’s ills. He came back a year later and showed me the progress… in one year my expected retirement date had increase by two… Hang on! Wrong funds… blah blah… a year later – three years. Never spoke to him again, never bothered to plan for it… now I’m in my early 50s and who knows when I’ll stop working… when they nail the bloody box up frankly.

    Part of me thinks though that this is like if I’d ever added it all up in terms of cost and time and compromise and difficulty… I’d never, ever had been able to have kids. I think you just do it and figure it out once you are in it whenever that seems right for you. I’ll never earn enough to retire on that advice… of course the man I spoke to earnt a nice commission on every bit of cockamamie advice he gave me…. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Wonderful post. I’ve been lazy about posting (and reading), but I’m coming back around. You’re so right about the freedom that sobriety brings and the revelation that we can indeed conceive and then take steps toward a goal. Good to hear you’re doing well…and kudos on the home-made pizza sauce. I need to get back to that (minus drinking a bottle of wine while preparing it).

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Of course you can have fun in sobriety. When I went abroad for the first time in 6 years last year (I couldn’t travel because of my OCD) I had a tremendous amount of fun. But it was very different from the wild, chaotic self-destructive fun of my cocaine use and drinking. Being sober you are generally in control. A lot of my fun while using was very dangerous and based on me being out of control. Although I still have fun now I’m glad that I’ve done the really wild fun of using too so I don’t feel I’ve missed out on anything! I wouldn’t really change any of the experiences I’ve had while I was using as they have made me who I am today and didn’t really hurt anyone apart from myself.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hear ya! However, I think we gloss over the bad shit that happened while we were having a good time. As hardcore partiers, we’re probably both really lucky that nothing seriously bad happened to us, so cheers to that! *with ginger beer, obviously* 🙂

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    1. Hi, Jackie! So your account was pretty secure then?? That reminds me of me putting hardware in an “obvious location so I don’t lose it” but 3 months later it’s no where to be found. GONE. Don’t worry about retirement, I’m pretty sure we’re going to win the lottery.

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