Patterns…

No, I mean LITERALLY– SEWING PATTERNS. I have quite a few of them. The remarkable thing about them is that some of them have never been opened and are in pristine condition, should I choose to sell them on the eBay.

I sorted them last night in my new sewing room.

Sewing room Ikea’d to within an inch of its life

Some of the patterns were from the 90’s (off the shoulder blouses and mini-skirts), one from the 80’s (trapeze top), none of which I actually sewed. Many of them are from when my daughter was in grade school (never sewed) and are branded with early Y2K hits such as Hanna Montana & That’s So Raven. One is a stuffed animal pattern from when the kids were babies (started that one, never finished.)

But for the longest time I kept buying patterns, usually from Hancock Fabrics (R.I.P.) during their 10/$10 sales. BECAUSE THEY ARE A DOLLAR, WHY THE FUCK NOT??

I have historical patterns and costume patterns. I have cargo pants, hoodies, capes, coats, jackets, pencil skirts, jeans, and pajamas. I have wrap dresses, jumpers, batwing tops, t-shirts and start-your-own-religion style baggy drawstring pants and tunics. I have women’s, mens’s, children’s, teen’s, and unisex.

I’m going to SEW THEM ALL. Dammit.

Because I have a room. And I have a room because I had the time to make the room. And I had that time because I don’t drink anymore. (And also because my kid moved out. hahah!)

So that’s what I’ve been doing while not writing here. I’m still up in everybody’s business leaving comments, just not as prolifically producing. Obviously. Try to stop me.

In other news, we went out last night to meet some friends (who forgot to show up) and so we had a date night. The bar we went to has arcade games which sounds really fun. But most of them are in the back where the music is loud and the lights are low and there is an extremely “drinky” vibe. So were like, if we were hammered, this would be great place to be. But we weren’t so it wasn’t.

And that’s okay. I don’t feel any disappoint over that. You might have that feeling sometimes, many of you call it FOMO, the feeling of missing out. So what we’re talking about here is:

• something I didn’t really want to do
• but would maybe have wanted to do if I was drinking
• it possibly would only have been fun (or perceived as such)
• but only if were I drinking
• but I don’t drink

The bottom line here is I JUST DIDN’T FEEL LIKE DOING IT. So I went home and played with my fabric shape cutter instead.

Did I miss out? Um…I guess THEORETICALLY maybe?? If a tree falls in the forest but it’s an oak tree and you really don’t prefer oak because you kind of like pine instead then DO YOU GIVE A SHIT? I say no. Maybe that’s not a good analogy.

I mean, there are places you go when you’re drinking, like bars & clubs for instance. And a lot of them are real shit-holes: walls painted black, scuffed floors, disgusting bathrooms, etc. But you don’t notice how shitty it actually is because it’s dark (low lighting) and you’re drunk (everything looks great!!) When you enter these places stone-cold sober in the light of day you would wonder a) did I eat something that came out that kitchen back there?? and b) why would a self-respecting human volunteer to be here?

I can listen to music and dance anywhere (say, at the supermarket when they’re playing the hits from the 70’s) and in a location not steeped in squalor. And then when I don’t want to be there anymore, I can just drive myself home. And sort my patterns.

Let’s face it- SOME things are only fun when you’re drunk. But MOST things are fun when you’re sober. Wrap your mind around that.