Yes, Popcorn Is TOTALLY For Dinner

Just needed to convince myself I was doing the right thing.

Greetings, sober blog citizens! Since I’ve begun to actually bore myself with how DAMNED BUSY I am, I won’t bring it up again. But I will mention that I’ve been feeling the squeeze of stress. It’s leaching into my dreams where I endlessly answer electrical code questions or fruitlessly attempt to perform my job and then I a) wake feeling like I never left work and b) just want to yell FUUUUUUUUCK the minute I realize I have to wake up.

This isn’t new, this “fuuuuuuck”-upon-waking. I really dislike waking up. It makes me cranky. Lately the FUW has been coupled with an instant stress explosion that pops me out of bed with my eyes bugging THE HELL OUT. Fortunately, no one else is awake to be completely horrified.

But then tonight while I was driving to my class on the freeway I decided to play some music, specifically the Wailin’ Jennys. About midway through the second song, I unclenched. That light-hearted lady-folk just knocked me out of my stupid stress loop.

What the fuck was I worried about? I don’t even remember now. I didn’t even realize how squinched up I was until I relaxed. There’s always shit to worry about. It will get done– OR MAYBE IT WON’T. It’s not worth having a vein pop out of my skull. Am I right??

So in my moment of acoustic guitar and stand up bass (with the fiddle poured down on it like sweeeet syrup..mmmhmmmmm)  I had some clarity: I do my best. I can’t control everything. But it’s still going to be fine.

So I’m feeling better tonight. I don’t drink anymore, so that wasn’t an option. But it would have been a little less than a year ago. I would have DROWNED THE FUCK out of that scared, oppressive, stress-y feeling (or any feeling for that matter, haha).

Stress is a state of mind, so is calm.  I remembered (thanks to some harmonies not unlike THE VOICES OF ANGELS) that I can choose either.

Oh. I was NOT going to eat the whole bowl. FUUUUUUUCK.

 

 

 

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34 thoughts on “Yes, Popcorn Is TOTALLY For Dinner

  1. Sometiems you dont realise how stressed you are/were until you actually relax. Its a good reminder to all of us that you cannot control everything. What we are feeling is just a state of mind. I like that one. Thank you x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I know that feeling, waking up at 4 and already being behind schedule. I just realized that I haven’t been listening to music in the car, I’ve been letting my brain churn. I’m going to change that today! Lori

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Yeah, I wake up like that pretty much every day too. 😉 Popcorn is totally legit for dinner, as long as we both agree that cake is, too. For reals. I love how you said that you do your best, you can’t control everything and that everything will still be fine. So wise and so damn true. I have to shake myself out of some minor (and major) psychedelic freak outs using the same words!! And without alcohol, it works definitely more often than not. Good for you for calming yourself down, doing it without booze, and managing to look great doing it. 😉 Hugs to you!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I so relate to your stress I have recently taken on a very demanding unpaid political job organising a large number of people, I am also trying to re-start my journalism career and look for Mr Right! I’m also trying to get my blog ready for a publisher. To be honest at this precise moment I feel like I am having a bit of a panic attack! Like you drinking is not an option though. I need to offload something or reduce my commitments somehow but am not sure how. My favourite sound is silence so I don’t really listen to music but maybe I need to take a leaf from your book and do just that to calm down!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. We are moving into a condo tomorrow. Unfurnished, but downtown along the river. A beautiful spot.

        I went to an evacuee assistance centre today and got 2 brand new beds and other household stuff. I’m excited to have my own space.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. I love popcorn dinner.
    I remember a long time ago (! In a galaxy far far away?!) I used to wake up and actually scream. After a little while decided this wasn’t the job for me. Not sure that’s an option for you but hope the stress subsides a bit. Trouble is needing to take a step back to see how to change it or calm, but that’s the hardest thing to do in amongst just being a massive tumbleweed ball of stress.
    I guess just overdose on the little pleasures. Like I’m tired and stressed and I want popcorn for dinner! Xx

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Glad I’m not the only one! So glad we are sober and we have choices! So many choices…nooooo we are not stuck on the stress-drink-sleep-work-stress-drink-sleep (repeat 500 times)…I’m learning to work to live (not live to work). Why do o always get things backwards before I figure them out LOL???
    Jenn

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Jenn! It’s so easy to get caught up in the stress wave. I have caught myself feeling sorry for myself and actually telling myself (and probably others– booooring) I have no life! Hahaha! We’ll figure it out:)

      Like

  7. This FUW is hitting me hard too. I am SO BUSY volunteering one day a week that I get stressed just thinking about it! Plus, I have to plan most of my days around where to get my next sugar fix, what the health costs of constant sugar means, and when I will finally stop doing sugar. That day is not today. Seriously, I am about as stressed as when I worked full time. WTF???

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I have done a lot of swearing this week, being at my mom’s and her house is a hoarders house and things fall down, and we are trying to clean, and keeping her healthy, and driving her old van with no air, and my own health problems…
    LOTS of SWEARING! Not at my mom, but the situation of boxes and cray falling everywhere!!!!!
    I told my mom I swear like a drunken sailor. She says she does too, although I have only heard her say the D word.
    LOL
    xo
    Wendy

    Liked by 1 person

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