Shit I Used To Drink Over

Hello, Sober Blog Citizens!

I have ended my long streak of blogging slackery to bring you THIS IMPORTANT INFORMATION:

Shit’s happening and I’m not drinking over it. Or at it. Or on it or next to it or quite possibly inside it.

So here I am in the middle one not one, not two, but THREE- three everfucking real estate transactions. Why you ask? Is it because I want to see how many veins I can pop out on my forehead? No. I am selling a house. I am buying a house. I am refinancing a house.

I have three simultaneous escrow accounts at three different title companies. I have signed millions of documents, sent gabillions of texts. I am up to my pits in repairs, inspections, appraisals and ADDENDUMS. OMG THE ADDENDUMS MUST STOP.

Four years ago we sold a home and I found myself shotgunning beers and chain smoking after work to try and chill the hell out. It was the catalyst, I think, to jumpstart my alcoholic career (I say career because I did it like I was getting paid, if ya know what I mean).

But not now. OH HELL NO. I’m taking it SUPER EASY in my bedroom with some kava and handful of ibuprofin. I’m thinking STRONGLY about making some tea. I might get out there and get a FINE grilled cheese sandwich started. There will DEFINITELY be some brownie action. THE WORLD IS MY OYSTER. That also sounds good, I may have a can somewhere…

None of it is that much of a big fucking deal. It’s not. IT JUST ISN’T. We all have stress from job and kids and moving and divorce and death and debt. Just when you think you’ve had all the stress you could possibly absorb you look up and see MORE OF THAT SHIT IS COMING AT YOU. I somehow get to this point where I tell myself, okay, that’s over, we can coast now! Eeeeasy livin’. It’s all CAKE FROM HERE. (Mmmm…cake) But it doesn’t work like that, does it? You get one ANNOYING ASSHOLE OF A THING dealt with and another comes out of the chute.

The okay thing about that (besides the fact that there is actual cake) is that there’s nothing coming at us that we can’t manage. BELIEVE THAT. And not just because I told you (actually, yes, mostly that.) But believe it anyway. And believe in YOU. And also believe in ME believing in YOU. That’s a lot of believing going on, my friends.

But you can do it!  EVERY DAMN ONE OF YOU.

So queue up your 1980’s Journey and get out there. I have a date with some American cheese and a spatula.








24 thoughts on “Shit I Used To Drink Over

  1. What?!?!?! You’re telling me you don’t get paid to drink? Damon good thing, I decided to stop. 😊

    But congratulations on pulling through and I hope the tea and grilled cheese goes down smoothly!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Just thinking of your paperwork gives me a headache! Love this post reminding me that I’m capable of doing more of what drives me and it will be stressful, but not as stressful as doing less while drinking! Thanks for the cyber cheer squad too.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I am chuckling to myself as I read SoberMummy’s latest post followed by yours. Both great posts both poles apart in style and language ha ha but both hit home. Love your style, wit, humour and ability to nail down the essence of what you are saying. And please don’t EVER slow down or STOP the use of CAPITALS OR FOR THAT MATTER !!!!!!! Loving your work. 😍

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Yeah shit happens simultananeously all the time. And when you are sober you deal with all of it at once. When you are drinking there will always be one or two major things that go completely by the way side. So when I was drinking I exchanged contracts to buy a house which meant putting down a large deposit. I didn’t have the funds to complete the purchase (of course not!) but I figured I would get them somehow. I then spent a month on valium waiting for another mortgage to come through – which it did. But I could have lost my rather large deposit and been sued by the vendor if it didn’t. I honestly thought I was financially quite cautious but my mortgage adviser said I was “positively buccaneering” !! Good luck with your three property transactions. You will cope now you are sober in fact I can’t bear to imagine the hideous mess you would get into if you tried to do it when you were drinking! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahahahah! I am only ever-so-slightly buccaneering. We did take a risk making the offer on a house at the beach before receiving the rental property, but it wouldn’t have been a disaster if the sale had taken longer. But really it’s just all going well, things pop up and we deal with them! NO BIG!


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