Let me set the scene for you:
We spend the weekend at the coast working on the beach house laundry room– we paint, we lay floor, we put up blinds, we put up shelves. It rains all weekend. Freakishly huge Amazon rain forest amounts of rain. We drive home Sunday- in the rain. We get home, still raining, trying to outrun flood warnings. We’re too tired to do anything but lay on the bed and watch TV. However, Mr. Betty decides to go out to his sub-basement level music studio….annnnd….wait for it…
YES! IT’S FUCKING FLOODED!! The studio is full of water, power is out, sump pump is SILENT. SHIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!
The carnage: Six guitars on the floor rack are soaking in 6″ of water. Amps are drowned. Rugs are floating. The love seat is swamped. The Ikea table never had a chance. And the banjo…the banjo was in it’s case lying on the floor, half under water.
So Mr. Betty, who’s distraught, horrified, and pissed off enough to tear a phone book in half, shouts: “FUCK! I NEED A SELTZER!”.*
And that’s how it’s done, ladies and gentlemen. Well played, Mr. Betty.
*He had a peach-pear La Croix, if anyone is interested.