Eat, Don’t Drink, and Be Merry Anyway

Happy Holidays Sober Blog Citizens! Many of you know I work for the government so you won’t be surprised that I have had any non-secular winter greetings beaten out of me (metaphorically, of course.)

Annnyyyyway,  I know many of you are going to attend or host celebrations (either by choice, peer pressure, or familial coercion). I know there will be parties. You will be confronted by the DEMON ALCOHOL. And maybe you’re new to sobriety, maybe this is your first Xmas season (look at me, sticking it to the Man!!) without alcohol and you’re all HOLY SHIT, THERE ARE FOUNTAINS OF BOOZE ALL AROUND ME.

For some of us, there is a holiday gauntlet of alcoholic bevs flying at our heads from now until January 1 (on which day most of the world will suffer a collective hangover). But this year you just DON’T WANT THAT MOTHER FUCKER. Instead of flopping into 2018 like a basket of dirty laundry, you want ride in on your high-ass sober horse. Neeeeiiiiighhhhhh!!! Even if you only have two coconuts and your banging them together. *

This is a wonderful thing: there are so many positives to starting your sobriety now as opposed to waiting until January 1.

• The pressure is off, you’ve already got some days under your belt by the time the ball drops and Dick Clark’s animatronic body is trotted out.
• You don’t have to start over hungover.
• You’ve already done the hard part– you go into 2018 a non-drinker

This will be my 3rd sober winter holiday season. My first was a sugar-fest as I gave mouth-to-mouth to a bottle of white sparkling grape juice. My second was business as usual, less sugar, more fun.

So I am making a list of my holiday-related posts, maybe they will help you keep your sober boots on.

Happy TG, There’s A Frosty Coors Out In The Cooler!

…And The River Don’t Rise…

Hoodwinked!!!

Xmas Wrap-Up And Thoughts On Fake Wine

The Sun and the Sea

Resentmentz…I Haz Dem

And Everything Is Going According To Plan…

2017- Hopefully More Popular

And as a bonus I will throw in (at NO ADDITIONAL CHARGE) my list of snappy comebacks should you be confronted by TDA (The Demon Alcohol) whilst attempting to get your sober on:

What To Say To Drinkers About Your Not-drinking

There! YOU’RE WELCOME.

*BTW, if you understood the “coconuts” reference please post in comments! I’m curious to see who gets it.