Betty In The Bubble (Hour)

O Holy Crap, it’s me again! Bringing you holiday cheer in amounts sufficient to make you titter even whilst you contemplate throttling family members (because isn’t that what holidays are about??)

For the record, no one was injured during my holiday weekend (literally, figuratively, or otherwise in effigy). You know why? Because EVERYTHING WENT ACCORDING TO PLAN. Yes. That’s right. Welcome to my MERRY FUCKING CONTROL FREAK CHRISTMAS PARTY. Where everyone has a holly jolly good time (whether they want one or not.)

  • Xmas Eve breakfast with kids and my dad? Check. Went off without a hitch.
  • Xmas Eve afternoon visit to in-laws? Like a military operation.
  • Xmas gift reveal? Everyone loved their shit that I wrapped and to which I applied personalized MECHANICALLY GENERATED labels.
  • Xmas Eve Dinner with all the kids at my house? House Beautiful should have shown up to chronicle its perfection.

BTW, I have enough ham leftover to sink a battleship if anyone wants some.

Today, with all Xmas activities behind me, I am at my leisure. So I will take this moment to share with you all my recent interview on the Bubble Hour. Yes, that’s right: Jean let me babble on the Bubble. The link to said podcast is here, if you’d care to listen. It was a bit like leaving a really long voicemail in that one talks for sooooo long, one says to oneself– what the fuck did I even say? Which brings up another interesting point: The Bubble Hour is decidedly PG so my rated-R rants had to be dialed down QUITE A BIT. Fortunately for me (and any future babblers) Jean is such a professional and gracious host that everything goes…well…ACCORDING TO PLAN.

As a result of my podcast exposure, I am experiencing some new-found fame, most notably evidenced by the addition of upwards of TEN NEW FOLLOWERS to my blog. Whoa. Anyhoo, among those was a gal who asked me a question that I found absolutely intriguing and pondered for a full hour while I did my hair and makeup. Since I knew my reply would fill the comment space with many paragraphs, I thought it prudent to post my response here. Because you KNOW I have one. (This is exciting because it’s my first ASK BETTY- style post!! )

HERE WE GO:

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Hi Betty. I heard your podcast on the bubble hour. It’s my first sober Christmas. I stopped drinking Jan 6 2017. Heard you say near the end that you don’t have to go to Xmas party/family Christmas dinner if you don’t want to–referencing Byron Katie portion. What about the idea if you don’t challenge yourself you won’t change. I still do not want to do anything but know that when I do I feel better and when I cancel I hate myself even more. (the second arrow). What to do. Diane

Dear, Diane.

I think a challenge is an interesting idea. But my question would be (because answering questions with questions is the way the PROFESSIONALS DO IT) what specifically is the challenge? My contention that you don’t have to attend an event if you don’t want to is largely to let people who off the hook who might otherwise feel unnecessarily obligated or that they will upset the host by not attending. I think the challenge in that case would be NOT to go and feel alright with it.

I’m pretty sure you are not talking about challenging yourself to see if you can attend a super boozy party and hold out being sober. Because why you wanna dance with the devil??

So I think the challenge you are referring to is to overcome the anxiety of attending a function without the insulating cushion of alcohol. Certainly nothing wrong with that. IF YOU’RE READY. If your sobriety is strong enough. If you are not in danger of relapsing. If all of these fortifications are in place, and you’re solid then, by all means, give yourself a nudge. At a year in, you may or may not be ready to get out there. Only you know when you’re ready. But if all you really need is a little push to get you out the door, so be it.

Sometimes I need that, too. It took about 2 years before I wanted anyone in my house. I would think about having a birthday party and then think “I DON’T WANT ALL THOSE FUCKERS IN MY HOUSE.” But I’m starting to feel it again, wanting to socialize. Being okay in a group where I don’t know everyone, being okay with leaving when I’ve had enough, or staying if I want to. Being okay throwing a party and knowing I have to “be on” for 3 or 4 hours. And quite frankly, I had to do a bit of “fake it til you make it”.

One of the suggestions I made on the Bubble Hour was that if you do decide to go, have an “out” in case you want to leave early. Maybe you’ll get there and have such a great time you’ll end up staying. Maybe you’ll have an enjoyable evening but hit a wall and decide you’ve had enough (that’s me– when I’m done, I’m done.) Maybe you’ll force yourself to smile, all the while hating the whole thing, but congratulate yourself for at least trying it and sticking it out for an hour. Or maybe you’ll just stay home and watch Netflix and eat popcorn for dinner. Any and all of these are okay. DON’T HATE YOURSELF!! We all did enough of that while we were drinking.

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How was that?? Anyone else want to Ask Betty?? I’M READY FOR IT!!

Well, it’s evening on Christmas Day here in the west. I’ve managed to get through an entire box of Andes mints and I’m little weary now, so I’m packing it up. I’ll be back next weekend to rally for a Super Sober New Year!

 

 

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12 thoughts on “Betty In The Bubble (Hour)

  1. I love your response.
    It’s always important to remember that the basis of happiness is to make life easier and more enjoyable. Not to make it hard and cruel.
    For some reason society (advertisers) has chosen to encourage us to believe in a no pain, no gain mindset.
    It’s bullshit.
    Lol
    Anne

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Good point! Why make life harder than it already is? I’m all about sliding through with as little pain as possible. I mean, if you already suffered addiction and withdrawal, don’t you need a break from bullshit?

      Like

  2. I had a proper melt down about going to hang out with step family, I’ve had a stomach bug so mentioned that but they were still “disappointed “ arrrgghh, my trigger word! Ffs. Instead I stayed home and sat on the floor and cleaned my dyson with a knife and bottle of surgical spirit…and enjoyed it…
    it’s official I’ve lost my mind, 🙂I’ve a good few sober years behind me btw! My advise is to do what makes ya happy ( and keeps ya sober)even if that involves strange domestic practices

    Liked by 2 people

    1. And here I thought I was the only one properly maintaining my vacuum! I too prefer the thing that makes us happy, you did the right thing. Sometimes people are disappointed, ourselves included. NO ONE WILL DIE FROM IT. Btw I use scissors and a tiny comb on my Roomba.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. I’m so happy I found your blog. It’s really honest and funny at the same time.

    It’s nice know that I’m not the only one riding on this crazy train.

    Liked by 1 person

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