Hello Friends! Today is a special day, it’s Mr. Betty’s birthday and he has agreed to tolerate being thrown a birthday party after my phone was blown up by his family members DEMANDING A CELEBRATION, DAMMIT. His family is like that, they enjoy a gathering. So I’m writing a blog post largely to avoid all the cleaning and cooking that I need to be doing RIGHT FUCKING NOW. I mean, there’s picking up the party tray from the store, supervising the Roomba, it’s just exhausting *tiny violin sings in the background*.
Speaking of tiny violins, did you know you can get an app on your phone that will actually simulate a tiny violin?? It’s most effective if you need to end some whining in a way that’s lighthearted yet brutally effective. You know, they’re laughing but they’re also like, “heeeyyyyyyy….”
Mr. Betty’s bday often gets me out of the winter hibernation mode that I’m in because it’s about this time of year that the rain starts to thin and we have some more sun. Also, it’s forces me to clean my house for the first time since Thanksgiving in November.
ALSO, it reminds me that I have another soberversary coming in just about one month. Yay! And you know what that means: my awesomeness is now growing EXPONENTIALLY. Or possibly incrementally. It really depends on the day.
Some days I’m on. I’M SOOO ONNNNNN!! I’m all over it! I’ve got it! I’m doing it!! I’m MAKING IT MY BITCH.
Some days I’m like a mortally wounded soldier in a WWI movie, “Go on without me Nigel…I’ll just hold you back…GOOOOOOOO…”
You know, like we are.
***24 hours later***
Right. I’m back. I had to get up and go make the party happen so of course I DID THAT SHIT and it was smash hit, mostly due to the newfound and (apparently) worldwide popularity of my mac ‘n’ cheese recipe. I’ll just tell you the secret now, so as not to keep you in cruel suspense: VELVEETA. Lots of it. Don’t like processed cheese? You’ve come to the wrong page, my friend. Move along.
So like I was saying, not every day is OPTIMAL AWESOME.
However, I have been spending a lot more time in my craft room due to some decorating that needed to be completed at the beach house. We decided to make it a vacation rental so it would pull its own weight, so to speak. So I’ve been making pillow covers and gluing starfish* onto things and assembling framed art and printing photographs to hang and it’s been VERY ENJOYABLE.
From the frantic cute-ening up of the beach house sprang my inspiration to add a layer of decor to my actual house. So I’m sitting here today with some newly-framed art prints that I bought at our local annual art fair circa 1999. I SHIT YOU NOT. These prints have been sealed in plastic for FOUR PRESIDENTS. They have been released and are now tittering with joy in their jewel-like frames, waiting for their ascension to my dining room wall later today.
All of this sparked a renewed interest in photographs I’ve taken over the past few years having purchased a “real” camera. It is by no means expensive, fancy nor schmancy, but it an actual camera with a lens and various features. I spent about a year or so using it rather than my phone and actually thinking about composing shots that other humans might want to look at.
So I thought some of them might look nice printed and framed. Then I started obsessing on ordering canvas prints. THEN IT GOT OUT OF CONTROL. So I bought a groupon for 30″ x 60″ canvas tryptic, uploaded a photo of the sun setting on the ocean, ordered, and now it has arrived!!
Then I caught a buy-one-get-one sale on photo printer paper and I have about 10,000 sheets now….
Then I thought, I SHOULD TAKE MORE PICTURES….
Aaaannd I’m probably going to need more ink…maybe a better printer….
And this, THIS!!! is a very good example of how people end up with an endless number of hobbies. I’m calling it Hobby Sprawl Syndrome.
So apart from my recent bout of HSS, I am also peddling some wares. Specifically cookware and kitchen stuff. I thought that being a consultant and presenting at parties would force me to get out the house and hone my public speaking skills and maybe make me a little cashola on the side. What I’ve found is:
- Talking, answering questions and directing food preparation for 2 hours straight is exhausting.
- I like being at home and
- I spend all my profits on product for myself.
So jury’s out on whether or not my (supplementary) career will be successful. BUT!!! It has sparked a revival of my love for cooking (Hobby #37).
All of this growth is because I escaped the creativity-killing suck hole of alcohol. ALL OF IT. And really it’s just starting to come back at full (and I assure you DEADLY) strength.
You have no concept of how much energy you are pouring into your wine glass until you see that energy released into the world.
I have stuff to hang! And you people need to round up a few dozen more hobbies.
*The source from which I purchased my starfish assured me that the already-deceased creatures were collected AD (after death) and were not murdered so that I could glue them to a plaque that says “Relax”.