Hello, Sober Blog Citizens! Ooh it’s May and still fucking raining here in the PNDub. Actually, I’m being dramatic. It just stopped a few days ago but it’s not done, is it? IS IT????
Well we celebrated our Memorial Day weekend with a BBQ (that IS how we all want to be remembered, right?) And whilst I was preparing the food on that rainy-ass Saturday, I had my Amazon echo jacked up and playing Bread. Bread, man!! I love the Bread.
So, at the party, someone brought me a bottle of wine, it was pink and I was all, WHAT THE FUCK…. I mean, I think it’s rose. I’ll be honest, I quit drinking right before that came into vogue. And I think the person who gave it to me forgot that I don’t drink.
But the fact remains: There is wine in my fridge. WINE.IN.MY.FRIDGE. Alert!! Wine one one!! So I’m thinking about sneaking it into a family shindig and just leaving it…
Did I mention I want the Best of Bread played at my funeral? I’m not dying (grabbing some wood here– knockity-knock) but Mr.Betty and I did a small Death and Taxes tour last week so would could get both our fiscal and eternal shit together. We visited an accountant and an estate attorney which got me thinking about my final wishes. And I was all, let’s plan our funerals! It’ll be fun! And Mr.Betty was all, shut up!!
One of my party guests is a fellow ex-drunkess like myself and she got very, very excited about the diet root beer. I was jacked up on the raspberry lemonade. And that’s how we sober-party ’round he’yah.
Anyhoo, we’re closing in on Sober Year #4 for moi and it’s been a good year. We’ll, they’ve all been pretty damn good.
Here’s to 4 years and also to the next 44 (cuz I think I can pull that off–44 more years before you need the put the Bread record on, man.)
And here’s to 4 months or weeks or days if that’s what you’ve got under your sober-ass belt.
Well, there’s wine in my fridge but…it don’t matter to me!