Sweet Dreams Are Made of Bees…

I’m not actually certain those are right words. But!! The important message here is SLEEEEEP. Sweet, sweet slumber.

I love sleep SO MUCH. Here are some reasons why I love sleep:

• It’s free.
• You can have as much as you want and you won’t gain weight.
• You can do alone or with a friend.
• You can do it almost anywhere–I know this because of the snoring I occasionally hear at work during long meetings.
• If you miss sleep, you can MAKE IT UP LATER. Like homework.

And how about the awesome sleep you get when you’re drinking??

THAT WAS A TRICK QUESTION!!!!

I am not totally for sure how I went so many years without actually, clinically sleeping for most of that time. Sure, there was that pass-out, much-like-death sleep you’d get after you killed the wine bottle (although I forbid the spouse to refer to it as “passing out”– “you mean, when I WENT TO BED.” where of course I passed out.) But that is so often followed by the 3am mean reds, where you wake up wanting to kill yourself with a rock.

Occasionally I would “nail it” by which I mean I would perfectly time my food, booze and sleep in such a way that I would slip into a coma-like slumber at precisely 10pm, not dream/move at all, and wake up seemingly minutes later without a hangover. And I’d be like, FUCK YAH! I WON!

Nowadays, sleep and I are like BEST FRICKING FRIENDS. Or maybe, I just think Sleep is my best friend and Sleep is actually all, “Yah whatever, you can hang out with me…I guess…nerd..” Regardless of whether sleep returns my deep affections, I am ALL FOR IT.

I’M THINKING ABOUT IT NOW. EXCUSE ME….

I may not even be able to wait to publish this before I get me some unconscious ambrosia.

 

If you cannot think of any other reason to be sober, this here is YOUR TICKET. Sleeping regularly and well is life-changing. Sleep deprivation is the root of many many problems, including but limited to: overeating, distracted driving, mood swings, irritability and depression.

So sleep well, my sober friends…