Then There Were Three…

Years, mother fuckers! Tres Años! Three years yesterday I said to myself, “I am done with this shit.” Period (because punctuation.) I would like to say I celebrated most gleefully, including but not limited to:

• Capering
• Fist pumping
• Excessive numbers of high fives
• La Croix kegger
• A brisk playing of my Best of Seals and Croft vinyl album

I’ll be honest. I do ALL OF THOSE THINGS. But not yesterday because it didn’t occur to me until just now that June 1 had arrived. So let’s just go on as-if, shall we??

Three years ago yesterday (it would be much more dramatic if it was today, but I guess I missed that boat, eh?) I started this blog to work out how I felt about drinking, not drinking and everything else. To keep myself accountable. To make contact with others of my boozy ilk.

Guess what? THAT SHIT IS WORKING OUT PRETTY WELL.

So I’m crowing to you from the hair dresser’s chair this morning because I’m just so stinking busy and important that my time is very limited today, people. It’s tight, really. Also I have half an hour of processing time to kill and fucking Pinterest keeps making me re-enter the password that I DO NOT KNOW.

Anyhoo, here we all are three years later and I thought I’d take some time this morning to post all the things I regret about quitting drinking.

*crickets* 

Well! THAT was brief, wasn’t it?? What did you expect: I WISH I LOOKED 10 YEARS OLDER AND HAD CANCER AND A DUI. ALAS!

So, yah, no regrets here. And speaking of regrets, I did have some BS (before sobriety) regrets with regards to not quitting sooner. Those regrets actually kept me from quitting for a long time.  Because of the guilt and anxiety of how my behavior negatively affected my family, I felt like it was TOO LATE and I didn’t deserve happiness and clarity and sobriety and needed to continue to punish myself quite indefinitely.

And if that’s not an addictive lizard-brain MINDFUCK, then I don’t know what is. How crafty is the little asshole addict inside your head who attempts to convince you that you are so far gone, you might as well give up and die??

WHAT A COLOSSAL LOAD OF BULLSHIT. Do NOT listen to that fucker!!

We are ALL worthy and deserving of the best possible life. Yes! You, too! If you start your sobriety now, you can probably quite handily stave off additional future regrets. So that’s definitely a thing.

So I have here for your reading pleasure my Day One post.

I’m Probably Going to Die

If you’re into it and just can’t get enough of my folksy, down home, “don’t drink that shit” advice, and really want to know how I got through my first sober year then you can certainly use the navigation tool at the bottom of the above post to start from the beginning and follow my journey chronologically. Also, I could probably VERY HELPFULLY publish a page for this purpose, but I haven’t actually done that yet, have I?

Well, hell. I just can’t get my shit together so it’s Sunday now, which means my soberversary is actually not yesterday, but the day before that. Drama momentum fading sadly. *sound of party horns being crushed*

Enough about me! (I can’t believe I just typed that!) Anyone else celebrating a recent soberversary? Please share such that we all may smother you with sincere virtual high fives.